A2A Disability Etiquette: What You Should Know

This brochure was compiled to teach us all a few myth-busters and some simple guidelines for interacting with people with disabilities

We encounter people with disabilities every day. We meet them at school, at church, in the stores, and next door. People with disabilities are family members, friends and neighbors. People with disabilities are people with the same feelings and dreams as everyone else.

People with disabilities, however, are often excluded from the community because they are misunderstood. We fear the unknown and we are afraid of offending. The greatest barrier to inclusion in our churches is not architecture, it’s our lack of knowledge and understanding.

This brochure was compiled to teach us all a few myth-busters and some simple guidelines for interacting with people with disabilities (Note: Even people with disabilities can be unsure of appropriate and helpful behavior toward people with other disabilities). Above all, remember to act in love, acceptance and with common sense. AND BE YOURSELF!

Basic Suggestions:

 Always speak directly to persons with disabilities instead of to a companion.

 Don’t hesitate to ask if you can help. Then follow instructions.

 Ask first, before assisting. People with disabilities are capable of doing most or many things for themselves and prefer to do so.

 Avoid patronizing. Remember that they are human beings just like you.

 Ask first, before touching. People with disabilities may have difficulty with balance or may be concentrating on moving safely, an unexpected touch can disrupt their concentration.

 Don’t ignore. Include persons with disabilities in what you are saying and doing.

• Place more importance on inclusion than on politically correct language. At the same time, however, be aware that some people are sensitive to language. As you get to know the person, you’ll learn what they are comfortable with.

 Stress the person, not the disability (example: a person who is blind, deaf, etc., instead of a “blind person” or a “deaf person”).

 Relax. Talk as you would to anyone else. Don’t hesitate to use words like see, hear, and walk.

 Be considerate of the extra time it may take a person with a disability to get things done or said. Let the person set the pace.

 When planning events involving people with disabilities, consider needs. If an insurmountable barrier exists, alert the coordinator ahead of time.

 Remember that guide dogs and assistance dogs are permitted by federal law to go anywhere their human partner goes – stores, restaurants, churches, etc.

 Do not speak to or touch assistance animals – it distracts them from their work. When walking beside someone, walk on the opposite side of the animal.

• Handicap parking is reserved by law for persons who have been designated by the DMV as permanently or temporarily disabled. Only persons with “Handicap” stickers or ID cards may use them. Also note – the blue stripes do not indicate another parking space – they are there to provide space for vans with ramps. Parking in the blue stripes may block someone’s access to their car.

Intellectual Disabilities

• Speak to the person in a clear voice using simple words and concrete – not abstract – concepts. Help her/him understand complex ideas by breaking them down onto smaller ideas.

• Avoid talking down or use baby talk to people who are intellectually challenged. Gauge your pace and vocabulary in accordance with his/hers.

• When applicable, remember that the person is an adult and, unless you are informed otherwise, they can make their own decisions.

• People with cognitive impairments may be anxious to please and so will tell you what they think you want to hear. Keep questions neutral to elicit accurate information. Repeat each question in a different way to verify their answers.

• It can be difficult for people with cognitive impairments to make quick decisions. Be patient and allow the person to take his/her time.

• Clear signage with pictograms can help a person who is intellectually challenged find their way around a facility.

• Be aware that a change in the environment or routine may require a period of adjustment.

Hearing Disabilities

 To get the attention of a person with a hearing disability, tap them on the shoulder or wave your hand.

 Don’t shout. Speak clearly, slowly and normally.

 Never speak directly into a person’s ear. Stand where those who lip read can get a clear view of your face. Form your words carefully, but naturally without distortion.

 Remember that facial expressions and body language may also be interpreted by a person with a hearing disability, but don’t exaggerate.

 If possible, select a quieter spot, as noise is distracting and makes speech difficult to follow. If more appropriate, communicate in writing or with gestures.

 Avoid changing topics abruptly, as the person uses context to help understand what is being said.

Mental Illnesses

Mental illness is not a behavioral choice. It is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Largely invisible, disorders in the brain interfere with the capacity to feel, think and relate. Symptoms are varied. A person may appear sad, withdrawn, protective, preoccupied, carrying an unusual burden, or, on the other hand, may be highly energized or acting in a way unusual for the person or the situation.

 Come along side, be present, listen. Stand with the person, as if you are looking out at the world together, ready to offer help, assistance or guidance. Make introductions.

 Persons on medication may exhibit facial or bodily movements which people unaccustomed to this side effect o f drugs may not understand. Create a space that is calm, reassuring and respectful.

 A chemical imbalance may cause behavior that is disturbing or disruptive. Engage the person kindly and quietly,

Mobility Disabilities

 When speaking with a person in a wheelchair for more than a few minutes, pull up a chair and sit down so you both meet at eye level. You’ll both avoid a stiff neck.

 A person who uses a wheelchair may be able to walk. Honor that choice.

 Do not, without permission, move a wheelchair, walker or crutches out of reach of the person who uses them. They are personal property.

 Don’t lean or hang on to someone’s wheelchair. It is an extension of that person’s personal space.

 If assisting a wheelchair user up or down a curb, ask the person using the wheelchair for directions. The person using the wheelchair knows what works best. Steep ramps can be difficult and chairs can be heavy. If you have any doubts about handling the chair safely, get help.

 When giving directions to a person in a wheelchair, consider distance, weather conditions and obstacles such as stairs, curbs and steep hills.

Speech Disabilities

 Try to give your full, unhurried attention to the person speaking. Take time to appreciate the person talking. If you do not understand, ask for repetition or clarification. Do not courteously pretend to understand as you may be missing important information. Repeat what you think you understand and the person’s reaction will guide you.

 When necessary, ask questions that require a short answer or a nod or shake of the head.

 Remember, a person with a speech difficulty may use alternative ways of communicating, including writing, mime or computer-generated speech.

 Resist the urge to complete words or sentences for the person with a speech difficulty.

Visual Disabilities

 Very few blind people are fully blind. There are varying degrees of blindness and most have some sight.

 When greeting a person with visual disability, identify yourself.

 If others are present, identify them also (Ex. Joe Smith is on my right and Jane Smith is on my left).

 When conversing in a group that includes a visually impaired person, use the first name of the person you are addressing.

 Be sure to let it be known when the conversation is over and to indi cate when you are moving away.

 Explain where things are located in terms of the proximity to the person. Use the imagery of a clock to help orient the person to surroundings.

 If the person has a guide dog, ask how much room is needed for the dog.

 Ask about seating preference, then walk the person to the seat. Offer assistance when and if needed. Provide an elbow or shoulder if requested, but avoid grabbing or trying to push the person ahead of you.

 When walking with a visually impaired person, alert them to obstacles like curbs, stairs and doors.

 When giving directions to a person with visual impairment use specifics, such as, “left a hundred feet” or “right two yards.” If they are not fully blind use landmarks in addition to street names or room numbers – “turn left at the pink house” or “the third door on the left.”

In Case of Medical Emergency

 Never attempt to restrain or put anything into the mouth of a person having a seizure.

 Move objects or furniture to prevent injury.

 Make the person feel comfortable after the seizure by helping the person to a comfortable place to rest and offering reassurance.

 Since an incident could be epilepsy, a stroke, or a reaction to medication, find out if medical personnel or an informed family member is present. Call 911.

In case of emergency evacuation, assist all known persons with disabilities.

Compiled by Jacky Schofield for the Connecticut Disability Advocacy Collaborative.

Sources: United Spinal Association: Tips on Interacting with People with Disabilities; Easter Seals and Century 21 Easy Access Housing Program: Disability Etiquette; and the United Church of Christ “Accessible to All” Usher’s Guideline.