Reading the Signs column
An S.O.S. in church for walkers resulted in eight volunteers and a parcel of mutuality.
Three months without a dog guide translates as no jaunt to post office or trot to grocery. Forget prayer walking at dawn or visiting parishioners. I had still to shape up for new dog training. This first time in twenty years without tools necessary for mobility freedom meant this can-do person could not “do.”
An S.O.S. in church for walkers resulted in eight volunteers and a parcel of mutuality. I learned about disabilities attitudes, myself, ministry, and being the church. One walker said, “I don’t know what you need, so tell me.” With another, I just took off .
Receiving this ministry was a gift some could offer Miss Self-sufficient. I could only be gracious. I brought pastoral care and extra walks when a walker lost her job. Two teachers debriefed the day while nudging me toward strength.
All avoided that “heroic suffering” stuff. Their quiet respect of my “creative coping” still sustains me. Others saw my private side. I laughed upon excusing myself for wincing. We laughed together. I learned to tell my needs and model mutuality of self with self, that is, the art of cooperating with and listening to the body to maximize its possibility. They learned the changing normal of chronic illness, respect and honor of what we have, and about the art of choosing the side of hope.
We both have a teaching presence. After awhile, the fear in one person’s arm hold relaxed into confidence. A reticent woman walking side by side settled into conversation. One who earlier thought people need eye contact to talk discovered it unnecessary. I rethought my in-the-face directness. I learned about lack of expectation and fear of disabilities. They learned I will not break and about my bevy of resourceful techniques. All valid persons, we were a study in mutuality.
The goal is not the impossibility of overcoming a disability but living fully within it. Did these walkers taste the freedom available within those limitations? Did they notice that disabilities are only one part and they handicap only when external, mostly removable, barriers or attitudes impede?
A youth volunteered talk about her chronic condition. I found life-giving kinship with another youth who lives with bipolar disorder. She found a peer in understanding.
Three years ago, LD Treasure taught a four-year-old the possibility of sitting still in church. When this first volunteer discovered the boredom of “once around the school track,” we visited mutual friends at the care center instead. He learned the value of service in action. I enjoyed showing him respect. I was grateful for an elder’s willingness to spend her energy on her “I’m good for once around the track” saunter.
Mutuality is bonding and cooperative. Mutuality respects possibility and is hope-giving. Mutuality returns joy to the equation of greeting life. It focuses not so much on the need but asks first, “What do I have to offer?” The mutuality gained of full inclusion of persons with disabilities in our churches is a significant part of God-partnership.
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Written by Dee Brauninger. Reading the Signs is a Can-Do Forum about accessibility for the whole church family. Permission to use from Nebraska Conference newspaper, The Nebraska Record. Use freely. Please credit the source.
