This is the third entry in the UCCDM Lenten Devotional 2015. This reflection for the Second Sunday of Lent comes to us from Ms.Danielle Rochford who is a current board member of UCCDM. Her bio can be found on the Board of Directors page.
17:1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said to him, “I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless.
17:2 And I will make my covenant between me and you, and will make you exceedingly numerous.”
17:3 Then Abram fell on his face; and God said to him,
17:4 “As for me, this is my covenant with you: You shall be the ancestor of a multitude of nations.
17:5 No longer shall your name be Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I have made you the ancestor of a multitude of nations.
17:6 I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you.
17:7 I will establish my covenant between me and you, and your offspring after you throughout their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you.
17:15 God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name.
17:16 I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall give rise to nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.”
Genesis 17:1-7 15-16 NRSV
When God spoke to Abraham he wasn’t just offering another covenant as a sign of his love; yes God was offering assistance, providing an accommodation to an infertile couple, but there is more to this story than what meets the eye. God was offering a covenant to a couple who, back then and still today, would be categorized as having a disability. What God was really saying when offering the covenant was “Hey, I care for you and have your back.”
As congregants we are familiar with certain covenants. It is a simple, but important, statement that reminds us we are all human, we all have strengths we all have weaknesses, we are all different but we are all welcomed where we worship. Covenants are used as a way to understand that someone will have our backs; we make them in committees, we ask ministers to make covenants when being commissioned, and we use them as a set of guidelines to start a relationship with a fellow congregant we sometimes have almost nothing else in common with. No matter how different each covenant is in language the message is the same “Hey, I have your back can you have mine?”
In the fashion of being formed in the likeness of God I come from a congregation that has utilized covenant to provide a safe space for those with developmental disabilities. As someone with Asperger Syndrome, a syndrome that resides on the autistic spectrum, what seems like a simple social interaction such as small chat becomes complex for me and sometimes overwhelming. While others keep up speedy conversations with ease I have to remember to wait for natural pauses to speak, to keep up with a conversation when I am still processing what was said five minutes ago, and interpretation. Constantly remembering not to flinch when someone in the coffee line accidentally touches me is hard and the question “How has your week been” offers challenges in my navigation of appropriate small chat interactions.
I often find myself thinking “Why am I the only one who finds this challenging? How can others adapt so easily to these interactions? Can someone have my back please as I feel like I’m drowning in these murky waters!” Covenants are formed to help us all on these journeys. Every member of a congregation, from the staff to the security guy who works evenings to the congregants. We form covenants for formal projects and initiatives, for community building, but what about a covenant that supports individuals who dance to their own drummer through no fault of their own. It started out small for me; an unspoken agreement with the associate minister and I to listen to each other with open minds and open hearts, for both of us to give constructive feedback, and me realize I am not just in this by myself but she was willing on working to understand me. She may be retired now but our covenant has gone “viral” and spoken or not others see it and realize that it is what makes our congregation different and welcoming.
Let’s form these living covenants and know that we are all in relation to each other. My covenant that started with one radically liberal minister has grown to include a staff member who checks in with me every Sunday and offers direct feedback but knows that sometimes we both have to work on understanding each other. The congregants who intentionally start conversations with me to work on my small chat skills, the elderly congregant who loves to hug but allowed me space to get used to being touched, and those who recognize what an autistic meltdown looks like and will offer to find me a quiet space to calm down in. It’s a covenant that didn’t exist when I went through the process of becoming a member at my current congregation, nor when anyone else goes through their own processes of membership, but it has evolved overtime because we are all here on this journey together. It does not require advance knowledge of the other person, a congregational study in disabilities, or an official document declaring these covenants. It doesn’t always have to require even an official statement from church staff saying “this needs to happen”.
I am intrinsically drawn to religion, called to provide ministry, and at the same time I often exclaim that I find my sanctuary in my church family; the covenant that has been created allows me to find a non-judgmental space where I am welcomed in as I am. I am reminded, on occasion, that no matter how hard I try to “pass” as non-disabled for anyone on the outside looking in there are signs that I, and others, sometimes struggle with. The covenant that exists has allowed me not to be anxious when I enter my house of worship and take part in church life be it attending the annual Chicken and Biscuit Dinner each fall or, to be even more daring, going to other member’s house for a Saturday brunch without needing assistance. As I have grown up to feel more comfortable by myself, an introvert out of necessity, even I sometimes crave social interaction and acceptance.
On this second Sunday of Lent I send out a call asking each of us to consider what covenants we have in our lives. I then ask to consider what covenants can be formed with others with our own personal struggles. It is time to acknowledge that we are created in the likeness of God and through that have the ability to form covenants with others that show our own understanding and love for each other.
