The Rev. Doris Powell has been the Director of Finance and Treasurer of the United Church of Christ since 1990. In the current structure, she is one of three officers of the Church, along with the President and the Secretary. This is not a position she ever expected to hold. But then, a lot of things in her life have not been as she expected. Until she was in her early 30s, Doris was a physically active person. She loved backpacking, canoeing, camping – any noncompetitive outdoor sport that got her into nature. She looked forward to living some day in Colorado where she planned on hiking to her heart’s content. All of that changed when she was diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis. For the first six months, she had constant acute pain. Then, medication and an exercise regimen began to help, and she felt very thankful not to be in as much pain.
In the early months of her illness she experienced an identity crisis, asking God, “Who am I? The competent, active person I used to be, or the sidelined person I am now?” She also asked, “Is it better to accept my limitations, or to fight and deny them?” At the same time, she moved to a new community, and her new friends there responded to her as a person with a serious illness, which was not what she was used to. It seemed as if they were responding to a person she didn’t even recognize. When she visited her former community, people there were shocked because she was so different from how they had known her. It was a confusing and troubling time.
Before her diagnosis Doris thought she knew about tough times. There were periods when she thought life was very hard and she felt very negative about it. Though she acknowledges that this negativism had its pleasures, she began not to like this part of herself, especially how she was taking it out on other people. She felt stuck and prayed for guidance. And, she had a friend who became her role model in finding more positives in life, who coped gracefully with much worse circumstances than Doris was coping with at that time, and who helped her learn to see things in a different, more positive way. This was a significant change in her life.
When she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, she brought that understanding as a resource into this new situation. And she was able, in time, to find the answers to the questions she had been asking. Attending the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA, was part of her response to her new circumstances. In leaving her career as a Certified Public Accountant, she acted on her sense of discipleship, wanting to study and understand her faith better, and to learn to deal with the hard questions of life. Her sense of call was unclear when she started seminary, and she expected that it would be clarified as her studies progressed.
As she started her third year though, she still had not discerned her call. So, when a friend asked if she could send Doris a ‘resume’ for the position of UCC Director of Finance and Treasurer, she prayed about it and thought it worth exploring. She was surprised at every step in that process that the Search Committee still wanted to continue dialogue with her. Despite how hard it was to be sure where God was leading her, Doris trusted that if she pursued different avenues to see where they would lead and believed that the other people involved in the process were also trying to discern God’s readings, her path would become clear. And, it did. She has been amazed that her gifts in accounting match well with serving the church as Director of Finance and Treasurer. It’s not what she had expected, yet it has felt so right.
This confirmed for Doris the answers she received to the questions she asked God when she was first diagnosed. After much time in prayer, the answer to “Who am I” was, “You are my beloved child. I know who you are. Who you’ve been and who you are becoming are both a part of you. Accept what is, but don’t let it determine what your life is going to be. This won’t determine whether you can be happy or not. You are my disciple, and don’t think you’re going to sit on the sidelines. I have something for you to do.”
Doris finds that she appreciates life much more than she had: the beauty of flowers, of sunshine, of many things she didn’t really see before. She became more compassionate as she realized that everyone struggles with something that raises these difficult questions in their lives. She understood that we don’t have a clue to that of which we are capable of coping until we realize that we must choose to give up or find a way to deal with it. When she has seen other people facing with courage what seemed to be even worse situations, she has found inspiration. She has learned what her happiness really depends upon: living life, despite tough circumstances, with grace and hope. She sees that being friendly, kind, and thoughtful helps others return the same to her. These have been life-changing “Aha!” moments.
All these insights have assisted her in coping with her latest challenge: having both of her knees replaced in the fall, 1999, as recommended by her surgeon. She asked many questions and researched rehabilitation facilities to determine what was involved in recovery, and decided to proceed with the surgery. She found the support group at the rehabilitation facility very helpful and observed how much each person’s attitude impacted recovery. She also felt humbled to see people dealing with strokes and other devastating injuries whose prospects for recovery were not as promising as hers.
Doris knew already that “God gives us support and strengthens us and lifts us up,” but she felt an almost miraculous awareness of that when she was in rehabilitation. Her recovery was actually much easier then she had imagined, with every day seeming very doable. She wondered how that could be until she remembered how many people were praying for her. “God holds us up more than we realize all the time. There is so much support there.”
Now comes another challenge as she waits, along with the rest of the national staff, to learn what the new structure will mean for her. Since her surgery, she has much more energy than before, which gives her courage, to consider roles that previously seemed impossible. She doesn’t feel invested in any particular position, praying that she will be led to a place to serve where she will be happy, where her gifts will be well used, and that will have the right amount of challenge for her. As with the many unexpected things that have happened in her life, who knows what the next step will be?
Yet in the midst of that uncertainty, what is clear is that, wherever and with whomever Doris serves, the people around her will be privileged to share in the gifts that God has given to the world through this compassionate, strong, faith-filled woman. It is a blessing to UCC Disabilities Ministries that the Rev. Doris Powell is a part of our work.
Sidebar: “You are my beloved child. I know who you are. Who you’ve been and who you are becoming are both a part of you. Accept what is, but don’t let it determine what your life is going to be. This won’t determine whether you can be happy or not. You are my disciple, and don’t think you are going to sit on the sidelines. I have something for you to do.”
Editor’s Note: Since the writing of this article, Rev. Doris Powell has been named staff person for Pastors and Seminarians, Stewardship and Church Finances
From UCC DM Newsletter Archive
